Some conversations with my dad

Music: Ego Trippin' at the Gates of Hell by The Flaming Lips

Dad: Susie, you buy beer?! You not 21!

Me: Dad, I'm 22.

Dad: You turn 22 when I say you turn 22!

When I was 12, I remember this conversation...

Dad: Susie, why you have no job?

Me: Dad, I'm 12.

Dad: When I was 12, I had three job!

In response to forbidden dating while in school (high school AND college).

Me: Dad, I'm lesbian.

Dad: Susie, why you not like boys?!

Me: Because you never let me date one.

Dad: Because boys is stupid when they young. I know. I was stupid boy when I your age. Fine, you want to date woman? Go ahead. Woman is crazy. Look at mommy.

This is my dad trying to make me feel better about being a late bloomer.

Dad: Susie, it's ok that Kathy have big boob. You see, all of her brain fall to her boob, that's why they are so big. You smart, so you have no boob.

Me:...Thanks dad.

When I went to Japan in summer 2008, my dad told me when I land, to call him right away. Well, at the airport I couldn't exchange any money because the booth was closed and I figured I'd talk to him on Skype anyway, so I didn't. I got to my dorm room, opened the internet and I found this e-mail. (Keep in mind that I never learned how to read Vietnamese, so my dad types to me in English.) My dad also doesn't understand the internet that well.

Tony writes:

"How are you ,are you doing OK?,call me right away i'm worry about you now .bye

daddy;"

and then a few seconds later, I receive another one.

"I try to call you by skyle many time but you didn't on line .call me soon if you can

daddy;"