Monday, May 17, 2010

I'm from Wiscaaaansin.

Music: Jai Ho by Pussycat Dolls

I have nothing against people from Wisconsin. (For example: One amazing girl I know, Alli Wood, is from Wisconsin.) HOWEVER. If you came down to the South just to complain and bash for no reason (a.k.a. act like a jackass), you will be pwned.


Situation One (She's not the prettiest crayon in the box.)
---------------------------------------------
Wisconsin Girl: Whatever, I was homecoming queen at my college.

Me: Good lord, I'd love to see what the other girls look like.


Situation Two (This girl used to play sports, but now she's let herself go.)
---------------------------------------------
Wisconsin Girl: I think I've had enough of these fried carbs and sweet tea. No wonder everyone down here is so fat.

Me: Sorry (wisconsingirlsname) regardless of what food you eat, you'll always be fat. It's not the food's fault.

Wisconsin Girl: Well, I'm sorry not everyone is anorexic like you.

Me: I sense a hint of jealousy.

Wisconsin Girl: Why would I be jealous of someone who has a eating disorder?

Me: Because I look better than you?

Wisconsin Girl: Oh shut up and go throw up in a bathroom.

Me: Why?

Wisconsin Girl: Because you're anorexic!

Me: That's bulimia...

Wisconsin Girl: Whatever.

Situation Three (Her boyfriend is....manly.)
---------------------------------------------
Wisconsin Girl: All the boys down here look like girls. I like a manly man.

Me: Is that a picture of your boyfriend?

Wisconsin Girl: Yeah.

Me: He looks like your dad. What's with the lumberjack beard and the gut?

PWNED.

No comments:

Post a Comment