Here's to Micah

Music: Umbrella by Epik High (Ft. Younha)

"Hell, you punched me in the face...twice! And we didn't talk for several months. But we're still best friends."

Micah: You shoulda stayed for late night

Me: What went on?

Micah: I almost broke my neck.

Me: Again?

Micah: When was the first time?

Me: You got drunk and tried to do a back flip....oh wait, that was when you stopped breathing.

Micah: Yeah, that was a fun night. No, I took a horrible crash in my living room. Whoppers went everywhere.

Me: You fell over and nearly broke your neck?

Micah: Yeah, it was quite funny.

Outspoken

Music: First Love by Utada Hikaru [Jazz Version]

I have a habit of saying horrible things. For example, when I was researching in Washington D.C. with Dr. Wadkins (and two other students), we were searching for a place to eat one night. Lance wanted something different...something...exotic.

Dr. Wadkins: Something different? Something exotic? Let's see, we've got this Lebanese restaurant that's really good. There's also Thai, Moroccon, Pakistani, Ethiopian...

Me: Ethiopian?! I didn't know Ethiopia had food.

Dr. Wadkins: *pauses and then sighs*

But of course, I know that not everyone in Ethiopia is a starving orphan. It's just a habit.

In multicomposition thermodynamics (aka big people thermo), my professor wants us to turn in our homework at the beginning of class. He doesn't take late homework. Well, of course my printer doesn't work and the engineering printer is out of ink. So, I decide to ask nicely during class.

Me: Dr. Chen, my printer broke this morning and the engineering printer is out of ink. After class, may I please run to the library to print my homework out?

Dr. Chen: Oh...haha.*jokingly* For a price.

Me: Do you want a pound of rice or something? 'Cause, well, I know how much you love...rice...

I apologized to Dr. Chen later. He replied, "No, I thought it was funny. I'm not used to girls being so outspoken. But I have no excuse. I've lived in America for 17 years."

And then, my differential equations professor...

Dr. Jones: *referring to the problem he did on the board* This is a step you can skip. You don't have to simplify it on the test, I'm j-just showing you a cleaner way to present your solution.

Me: If we show the extra step on the test, will we get extra credit?

Dr. Jones: No...well...yes...the way I grade is...d-depends on my mood-----

Me: Whoa! What?!

Dr. Jones: W-what I mean is, er...uh...it would depend on....how *I* feel the rest of the class is doing. I grade harder when the class is doing really well...s-s-so that way we can separate the A's from the B's and so on.

Me: Listen, do you want a beer or something while you're grading my test?

The class: *LOL*

Dr. Jones: Uh...err...um...t-that would be very nice but uh....ok....er...um...n-next problem!

I'm from Wiscaaaansin.

Music: Jai Ho by Pussycat Dolls

I have nothing against people from Wisconsin. (For example: One amazing girl I know, Alli Wood, is from Wisconsin.) HOWEVER. If you came down to the South just to complain and bash for no reason (a.k.a. act like a jackass), you will be pwned.


Situation One (She's not the prettiest crayon in the box.)
---------------------------------------------
Wisconsin Girl: Whatever, I was homecoming queen at my college.

Me: Good lord, I'd love to see what the other girls look like.


Situation Two (This girl used to play sports, but now she's let herself go.)
---------------------------------------------
Wisconsin Girl: I think I've had enough of these fried carbs and sweet tea. No wonder everyone down here is so fat.

Me: Sorry (wisconsingirlsname) regardless of what food you eat, you'll always be fat. It's not the food's fault.

Wisconsin Girl: Well, I'm sorry not everyone is anorexic like you.

Me: I sense a hint of jealousy.

Wisconsin Girl: Why would I be jealous of someone who has a eating disorder?

Me: Because I look better than you?

Wisconsin Girl: Oh shut up and go throw up in a bathroom.

Me: Why?

Wisconsin Girl: Because you're anorexic!

Me: That's bulimia...

Wisconsin Girl: Whatever.

Situation Three (Her boyfriend is....manly.)
---------------------------------------------
Wisconsin Girl: All the boys down here look like girls. I like a manly man.

Me: Is that a picture of your boyfriend?

Wisconsin Girl: Yeah.

Me: He looks like your dad. What's with the lumberjack beard and the gut?

PWNED.

Some conversations with my dad

Music: Ego Trippin' at the Gates of Hell by The Flaming Lips

Dad: Susie, you buy beer?! You not 21!

Me: Dad, I'm 22.

Dad: You turn 22 when I say you turn 22!

When I was 12, I remember this conversation...

Dad: Susie, why you have no job?

Me: Dad, I'm 12.

Dad: When I was 12, I had three job!

In response to forbidden dating while in school (high school AND college).

Me: Dad, I'm lesbian.

Dad: Susie, why you not like boys?!

Me: Because you never let me date one.

Dad: Because boys is stupid when they young. I know. I was stupid boy when I your age. Fine, you want to date woman? Go ahead. Woman is crazy. Look at mommy.

This is my dad trying to make me feel better about being a late bloomer.

Dad: Susie, it's ok that Kathy have big boob. You see, all of her brain fall to her boob, that's why they are so big. You smart, so you have no boob.

Me:...Thanks dad.

When I went to Japan in summer 2008, my dad told me when I land, to call him right away. Well, at the airport I couldn't exchange any money because the booth was closed and I figured I'd talk to him on Skype anyway, so I didn't. I got to my dorm room, opened the internet and I found this e-mail. (Keep in mind that I never learned how to read Vietnamese, so my dad types to me in English.) My dad also doesn't understand the internet that well.

Tony writes:

"How are you ,are you doing OK?,call me right away i'm worry about you now .bye

daddy;"

and then a few seconds later, I receive another one.

"I try to call you by skyle many time but you didn't on line .call me soon if you can

daddy;"

Goodbye Jack, Hello Estelle

Music: Rich by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

My sister was in a car wreck involving a drunk driver. She was going straight down a highway when this small truck pulled out in front of her. She's totally okay, but her Infiniti G35 is totaled. My brother was the first one to arrive at the scene.

He recalls:

"On a lighter note, this is what I hear as I walk up to her car.

Paramedic: (Trying to make her feel better) Guess who's getting a new car????

Kathy: WWWWWWHHHHAAAAAAA!!! WHHHHAAAAAA~~!! WHHHAAAAAA!!!!"

And for the record, my little sister wrecks her INFINITI G35 and gets a MERCEDES-BENZ Kompressor. MERCEDES! I still drive a punch-bug. Ughhh. Whatev.

Some conversations with Benji

Music: You Know You're Right by Nirvana

BEN: So, is your partner French? Her name looks French.

ME: No, she's not French. She's just...southern Baptist.

---------------------------------------

[4/29/10 9:46:34 PM] Benjamin: name.identifier
[4/29/10 9:46:40 PM] C. Susie: oh
[4/29/10 9:46:52 PM] C. Susie: i haven't made that one yet
[4/29/10 9:47:05 PM] C. Susie: downloading patch goes in an infinite loop
[4/29/10 9:47:07 PM] Benjamin: oh, failure
[4/29/10 9:47:11 PM] C. Susie: trying to by pass it
[4/29/10 9:47:24 PM] C. Susie: what's yours
[4/29/10 9:47:25 PM] C. Susie: and eves
[4/29/10 9:47:38 PM] Benjamin: shanobi.olbaid proxy.rebel
[4/29/10 9:47:47 PM] C. Susie: omg
[4/29/10 9:47:49 PM] C. Susie: lol
[4/29/10 9:47:59 PM] Benjamin: ?
[4/29/10 9:48:04 PM] C. Susie: guess mine will be
[4/29/10 9:48:06 PM] C. Susie: cute.hellokitty
[4/29/10 9:48:16 PM] Benjamin: prob
[4/29/10 9:48:19 PM] C. Susie: or maybe
[4/29/10 9:48:22 PM] C. Susie: cutie.honey
[4/29/10 9:48:32 PM] Benjamin: gay
[4/29/10 9:49:27 PM] C. Susie: your mom's gay
[4/29/10 9:49:48 PM] Benjamin: my mom's dead :*(
[4/29/10 9:51:41 PM] C. Susie: oh

A little bird once told me...

Music: Bring Me To Life-Evanescence

Name: Susie
Birthdate: 8/27/87
Birthplace: Da Lat, Vietnam
Current Location: Oxford
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: blackish-dark brownish
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 98 lbs.

Piercings: My ears...
Tatoos: Neg
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Neg
Overused Phraze: any form of lol or vom.

FAVORITES
Food: pho
Candy: chocolate
Number: 27
Color: green. I like red too.
Animal: my dogs
Drink: sweet tea
Bagel: I like pancakes better. Or french toast, or crepes. Love crepes.
Letter: What? I didn't even know people have favorite letters.
Body Part on Opposite sex: body
Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing: um, vom.
Strawberry or Watermelon: strawberry
Hot tea or Ice tea: depends on if it's cold or hot outside.
Chocolate or Vanilla: depends on it is/ontop of
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: coffee
Kiss or Hug: I don't like to be touched. My really good friends are exceptions. I love hugging my best friends.
Dog or Cat: dog
Rap or Punk: Depends on the artist
Summer or Winter: SUMMER
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Depends on mood. Hah.
Love or Money: Money. HA jk.
Bedtime: Usually go to bed around 12 if I have nothing to do.
Most Missed Memory: my family
Best physical feature: I can smile better than you.
First Thought Waking Up: Why is everything so loud?
Goal for this year: reach my ideal weight of 105 lbs!
Best Friends: My skank sister, Kathy. lol.
Weakness: cute puppies....and high heels. Ugh...my gawd
Fears: I'm not scared of them, but I absolutely cannot STAND roaches or spiders. Or flies.

Ever been beaten up: no
Ever beaten someone up: yes, and I got suspended for it. LAWL.
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: durr
Been Dumped Lately: neg
Favorite Eye Color: green
Favorite Hair Color: blond...or brown doesn't matter.
Short or Long: short or long WHAT?! hair on a guy? Every guy looks better with short hair IMO.
Height: I'm going to be honest, if I'm wearing high heels and I'm just as tall as you, then NO.
Style: clean cut, but not BORING. ugh.
Looks or Personality: Personality, but come on, looks matter too.
Drugs and Alcohol: What?
Muscular or Really Skinny: Skinny pale guys are total VOM. I like muscular guys with some color. My gosh, be a man.
Number of Regrets in the Past: I wish I didn't take 21 hours. I'll never get these bags under my eyes to go away.
What country do you want to Visit: I'd love to go to Italy.
How do you want to Die: What kind of question is this? lol.
Been to the Mall Lately: I need to.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only on a lazy day.
Get along with your Parents: For the most part
Health Freak: sort of....yes...lol. Hey, that's what majoring in biochem does to you.
Do you think your Attractive: yes.
Believe in Yourself: yes
Want to go to College: lol, I want a PhD.
Do you Smoke: sometimes
Shower Daily: Sometimes twice a day. What? I go to the gym.
Been in Love: My white/tan pomeranian, Chuu, was the one true love of my life. Yes, I'm serious.
Do you Sing: Either A) when no one is around B) after a few drinks
Want to get Married: um, no.
Want to have children: um, VOM.